I'm currently working on a sci-fi novel. I wanted it my way or no way.Thank God
I got sick. It means I'm always thinking of myself...be it good or bad.Ask yourself:Have
you ever helped someone and not told anyone else? Do you give your old
stuff to the needy or do you horde it? Can you put anyone or
anything above yourself? Are you the victim? Are you a martyr? Can
you walk in someone else's shoes (feel others pain)? Is it ever your fault?
Is it all your fault?To think the world revolves around you/me, to only be
happy when things are going your/my way, to neglect family and friends for some "me"
time all the time, to miss our children's events, to avoid family functions or social
events, to isolate and be an island unto yourself/myself...That's downright selfish and self centered!This blog
is probably self centered...because I want you to know that I know I'm self centered.So
as I most always do I wrote a poem.I'M SUCH A GOOD PERSONI helped an
old lady across the street.I was so proud of me.I told everyone...but I was discreet.I
Nike Requin want them all to seeWhat a good person I am.What a kind person I am.My
boss wrote me up for talking back.Why's everyone picking on me?I hope he has a
heart attack.I just want someone else to seeWhat a good person I amWhat a nice
person I amSo busy writing this piece my friendI don't have time to talk.My man
friend wants to go home again.Well, let that a--hole walk.His loss, not mine.Cause I'm so
fine.I keep telling them who I am.What a good person I amWhat a victim I
amWhat a hero I amHow deep I amI amI amI amDebra K McKeeCopyright 2008-2009 ©
Debra K McKeeI want to be a paid writer. They'd ask if I had a
family. It was starting to interfere with my using...so I got rid of my job.
Thank God I remembered how it used to be. Thank God I got scared. In
fact I'm so self centered that I thought I had my life under control. So...I
started over. I hated getting up on Monday mornings. Who will know?" I also forgot
that I tell on myself all the time.I drank, I got sick, I stopped my
Zapatillas Puma medication( for being bipolar) when I drank so I could drink and I got stuck
inside my head again.After almost 3 years of being clean and 3 years of hard
work on myself I let it all go because I was only thinking of my
selfish needs again. Then there was my wife. I forgot that my medication doesn't mix
with alcohol. I forgot to go to my meetings or call my sponsor. When people
would ask me 'why' I would tell them 'because that's the way I like it'.
It's the way I best express myself. I hated making payments on my car...so I
got rid of my car. I didn't want to be an addict and I didn't
want to be bipolar. But things kept getting in the way...like my job. DO YOU
THINK I'M SELF CENTERED?Well, I know I am. My apartment sucked all my money up
with rent and all...so I got rid of that, too.I lived on the streets. I
don't want to deal with life. She wanted me to do things...like find a job...so
I got rid of her. Did I mention that I'm a recovering addict/bipolar? Somehow I
must have forgotten.I thought to myself..."Self, you're not addicted to alcohol so why can't I
drink now and then?" Then I said to myself..."Self, you can. I love to write
poetry and will publish them soon. I told them 'no, I just came out of
nowhere' Now as a father I realize just how selfish that is."Of course all drug
addicts/alcoholics and addicts of people, places and things know what it means to be self
centered. But what about the people who aren't addicted to anything? It's hard to explain
this to the balanced person.To me being self centered means to be so inside my
head that I don't want to or I'm unable to do for others without some
sort of ulterior motive. I thought to myself..."Self, no one's watching. You will notice most
of my articles end with a poem. I went to my NA meeting and confessed
to the world...I'M HUMAN!!!At the meeting tonight I heard a man say, "I was so
self centered all I wanted was to get high. As long as you don't do
any other drugs you can." So I did.I forgot how miserable I used to be.
Enjoy..
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